SL5B - Linden Lab Proclaims Child Avatars Only For Sex

The upcoming 5th Birthday celebration of Second Life™ by Linden Lab™ is designed for:

'Celebrating the cultural diversity of Second Life': 'Who do you hang around with in Second Life? What are your communities' traditions and signature characteristics? Are you proud of your sexy blue fur? Your excruciatingly detailed tea ceremony? Your murky environments? Your sculptures? The help you've given to others?'

The celebration is being held in a PG area, so Linden Lab™ doesn't want any displays that are not of a PG nature; fair enough. Note that given the statement above, even Linden Lab™ knows that 'sexy' can be PG. So sexy is okay, as long as it's not 'adult' (R or X rated).

So... despite celebrating the cultural diversity of Second Life™ there are some groups forbidden to display exhibits. Which groups are these? Glad you asked!

The "Gor" community -- apparently Linden Lab™ feels the Gor community is not suitable for a PG environment, which means they are a mature/adult group that would rate an 'R' or 'X' rating.

The "BDSM" community -- apparently Linden Lab™ feels the BDSM community is not suitable for a PG environment, which means they are a mature/adult group that would rate an 'R' or 'X' rating.

The "Child Avatars" community -- apparently Linden Lab™ feels the Child Avatars community is not suitable for a PG environment, which means they are a mature/adult group that would rate an 'R' or 'X' rating.

Um... come again?

This isn't about protecting real life kids; real life kids are on the Teen Grid, not the Main Grid. Real life kids, should they get on the Main Grid, will be using an adult avatar, as they will be wanting to experience things as an adult; they won't be using a child avatar.

Child avatars are not banned from Second Life™, so there is nothing inherently against the Terms of Service or Community Standards about child avatars. Linden Lab™ has stated that child avatars are allowed in Second Life™.

So what's the problem?

The Gor community, which is allowed in Second Life™ but features a heavy content of sex and violence, is not permitted to have an exhibit at the SL5B celebration in a PG area.

The BDSM community, which is allowed in Second Life™ but features a heavy content of sex and violence, is not permitted to have an exhibit at the SL5B celebration in a PG area.

The Child Avatar community is not permitted to have an exhibit at the SL5B celebration in a PG area.

So what's the common connection? Apparently, Linden Lab™ believe that all three groups feature a heavy sexual content and are inappropriate for a PG area.

There you have it, folks: Linden Lab™ believes that child avatars are only for deviant sexual practices, just like Gor and BDSM.

All hail the Main Grid. All hail Linden Lab™ and their infinite wisdom.

All hail Mark Kingdon, aka M Linden, the CEO of Linden Lab™. Since this is official Linden Lab™ policy, Mark has endorsed it.

Those of you with child avatars, you're on notice: Mark Kingdon thinks you're only using Second Life™ for deviant sexual purposes.

Fever For The Flavor Of A...

RichardR Bleac: "I have this strange desire to lick Kanjii characters...."

Timing is Everything

[via IM, when the grid finally came back up from hours of downtime]

Solomon Devoix: "Thank god! I'm finally in!!!"

Anputeti Blabbermouth falls on the floor laughing..."Dude, you have no idea how hilarious that timing was! Caught someone in the maze, and been stripping and tormenting her for 2.5 hours. Guess what I finally did as you sent that?"

Solomon Devoix: [facepalm]

Different Strokes

Weechee Zinner waves a hand and melts into a nearby shadow.

Maryld Althouse waves her tongue and melts Wee into a wetspot...

Team Spirit

Hughes Howard: "cathy... Ghost of Linden got you..."

Limbo Lower Now... How Low Can You Go?

Grayscale Heidenstam: "I was trapped in sex club limbo."

The Flavor of Success

Oracle Greatrex: "I could never actually enter your museum. The damage costs from my drool alone would be astronomical."

High Time (with a nod to the Grateful Dead)

Sachdev Saiman: "The years have been good to me ... it's the decades that hurt..."

I Can See Clearly Now

Gnash Rambler hopes he doesn't see the Donny Osmond poster, cause it would probably crash his bifocals.

Gnash Rambler: "Mother Nature has called a few times, and I've refused to answer. She's gonna come over here with Vinnie and Guido and bust down the door and fit me for a cement toilet seat pretty soon."

Keeping Abreast of the Situation

YummyPopcorn Antwerp: "I think these boobs are getting magical powers."

On a Wing and a Prayer

Minako Chabrow:

"Our Lindens, who art in the Labs,
Hallowed be thy prims.
Thy Grid-dom come, thy will be done,
On sims, as it is in The Preview.
Give us this day our daily crash,
And forgive us our Spammery.
As we forgive those, who greif against us
And lead us not, into private parcels.
Amen."

German: The Language of Love?!?

YummyPopcorn Antwerp: How do you say "Are you supposed to have boobs, too?" in German?

Alyson Rosmer: I may be the girl next door and a pin-up darling, but it'll take a lot for you to pin me up...

Attack of the Meat By-Products

Misha Corleone: "My meatloaf is trying to eat my chicken."

Objects in mirror are larger than they appear...

Misha Corleone: "Oh, trust me, I know... my clit runs out of room..."

Misha Corleone: "I'm going to start editing my ass... I'm going to put something in my ass that's specifically for YOU..."

Meat The Neighbors

Darien Kazakov: "Yes, I admit it... I have carnivorous skirts. You don't want to know about my panties."

Bare Necessities

Adam Hickman: "The great thing about being a dancer AND security is the look on somebody's face when they realize they're being ejected from the club by a naked guy."


Solomon Devoix: "I know it has to be the geek in me, but I can't stop wondering... how do you keep the lollipop from sticking to your fangs?"

Tools for the Well-Spoken Second Life Citizen

Ismelda Alonzo: "Sorry, it seems I have a lack in vocabulary today... I don't know essential words... 'pedophile', 'zoophile', 'satyrs'... very essential words in SL..."

Tell Me A Bedtime Story

On Saturday night, Club Reese's held an event with a 'fairytale' theme. A LOT of innuendo flew around that night; this is just one example:

Solomon Devoix [as a satyr]: "So your name is 'Chalice'? Have you ever been... drunk?"

Chalice Yao: "Um... no?"

Solomon Devoix: "Would you like to be?" [licks his lips]

It's a Jungle Out There...

At Club Reese's: "Naked purple vampire kitty fairy DJ in the house!!"

Alister Redgrave: "How many people can unbotton their own pants with their tail?"

Fashion Jihad

Misha Corleone: "Misha Corleone vows to smite all clothing standing between naked bodies and her appreciation of the nude form."

Alyson Rosmer: "What you see, and what I feel, are two different things."